Depends / AARP Senior Bowl Premiere!!

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The first annual Depends / AARP Senior Bowl will be held January 29th, 2011 at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis MN. The Senior Bowl is bringing back all the gridiron greats from way back for one more shot at national glory. Lou Holtz, Joe Paterno, John Madden, Dick Butkus, Joe Fortunato, Brett Favre and others will meet for this game of the century.

When Lou Holtz, Captain of the Lake Havasu Ear Hairs, was asked why this moss-back match-up was not held in a warmer locale, he sharply answered, "We chose Minneapolis because their dome, just like most of ours, is malfunctioning and covered in white. Plus Brett knows the way to the Old Country Buffet!"

While most are looking forward to the upcoming day of legends, there was some controversy about the choice of OJ Simpson as head referee. Event organizer, Wilford Brimley, defended the decision by saying, "All of Liberty Medical couldn't repair the carnage that man could unleash on my diabetic, oatmeal saturated body"

Kick off is at 2PM. There will be no award ceremony or trophy since by 4PM the few players that know why they are there will most likely be asleep or hospitalized by then.


by Darrel Miller, Senior Insensitive Prick Sportswriter